A Kind Reminder To Be Nice To Yourself (and to others)

I remember when the lockdown portion to the pandemic lifted and everyone was joking (or trying not to cry?) about if they gained the “Pandemic 15”, a play on the “Freshman 15” you’re supposed to gain in college. Personally, I didn’t recognize a lot of people. Not because of any type of weight gain or loss, but just because I didn’t see anyone and forgot about 80% of people’s names LOL. But it’s something that has been making me think about the pressures we put on ourselves to adhere to certain “healthy” lifestyles or look at certain way based on societies standards which are realistically shaped by wealthy people, celebrities, the beauty and fashion industries and most importantly, people who get paid to look ridiculously good-looking even if they have to spend hours and hours a day to just fit that mold.

For a solid two years, I was in and out of the hospital, doctor’s appointments, getting poked and prodded and having my entire life throw to shit because for whatever reason I couldn’t eat food without insane stomach cramps. No drinking, no eating XYZ, no spicy foods, I had to go on a special diet which to some was called the FODMAP diet but to me it was called “Sucks To Be Italian”. It got to the point where I would have to take time outs and just lay in my bathroom floor or my bathtub and try and throw up. I was dog walking at the time and this would happen at client’s houses and there was nothing I could do. I was so skinny I thought I was going to die. And I still don’t even have the full store as to what really caused this other than my gallbladder doesn’t work anymore and they refuse to remove it. There’s no pill or surgery that can fix what I don’t have. There’s no gallbladder transplant list, and to be honest, your gallbladder is like your garbage disposal, I don’t really want someone else’s but you get the point.

Luckily now I can eat more than just smoothies. And I’m back to my original weight and a few pounds more. It was tough to adjust because in our minds, we’re so in tune with our weight fluctuating, we only see it as a negative. It wasn’t until I saw a picture of myself from two years ago where I said to my girlfriend, “HOLY SHIT, THAT IS SCARY”. It wasn’t a good skinny. It was really scary. And I need to remind myself to be kind to me, because I’m past that scary point in my life and I can eat food again, and let me tell you how much you miss food when you can’t eat anything.

I read an article last week which kind of sparked this. It was an interview Channing Tatum gave in regards to filming a third installment of his stripper movie “Magic Mike”. He was saying that in order to get in the shape he was in to film that movie, he’d basically be starving himself to unhealthy lengths, working out twice a day and the food he did eat, was bland and really just to sustain himself. He also mentioned that because he’s older now (41 being older), it’s much harder for him to maintain that kind of physique than when he was getting lean for roles in his twenties. But the biggest thing that stuck out to me in the interview was him talking about how he has no idea how average people working a 9-5 everyday even have the time or energy to get in shape. And I think that’s something we all need to hear and remind ourselves of.

Don’t get me wrong here - I’m not condoning turning into a blob and taking the easy way out. But I think it’s important to be realistic what we’re capable of without driving ourselves completely crazy. Whether it’s going to the gym a few days a week, or choosing to walk to the store or restaurant to pick up your take out order, there are plenty ways to stay healthy without being so hard on ourselves. I think social media in general has made a bunch of people “better themselves” in ways that are unreasonable just to show people that they’re not being a piece of shit anymore. There are so many DJs I follow who chose to take the time of not being able to tour during the pandemic to get “California Sober” and getting ripped at the gym. OK cool congratulations. I’m sure living in Malibu and having access to the beach and four star meals everyday coming off of a grueling 7 day a week, 40 weeks out of the year touring schedule is really traumatizing. And then there are the mega-celebrities who always get interviewed for their health-conscious, forward-thinking ways when it comes to sobriety. I’m sure if we all had access to jet skis and Amazonian mud baths and the rarest coffee only grown three times a year in Hawaii AND ONLY if there is more than 30 inches of rain, but less than 100 inches of rain, and could galavant to the Maldives anytime we wanted, sobriety wouldn’t look so bad. But it’s just so out of touch with the real world. Some people work all day and have $3 to their name after a 12 hour shift that they can spend on a Bud Light and you’re going to sit here and preach to People Magazine about your “journey” doing Ayahuasca in the jungle. Get over yourselves.

And again, I think sobriety and exercise are great. They’re great tools and outlets. But with everyone trying to keep up with the Jones’ on social media, I feel like there’s almost an unrealistic expectation about the things people really want out of life. Yeah maybe it’s not good to blackout every night or get McDonald’s every day for lunch but if you go through your whole life everyday just white-knuckling the things you want, what’s the point of living? If you want a beer and can have one without throwing your life away, have one. If you can stay healthy without going to the gym 2 hours everyday, do it. If you’re hurting your loved ones, or yourself because you have a drug problem or an eating disorder that is controlling your life, OK you may want to reach out to someone for help.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, or wanting a fancy vacation or a nice car or to get lip fillers or whatever the fuck you see other people doing. But there comes a point where we’re so glued to our phones and the internet, when does it become our own choices vs. what we see and what we’re told will make us happy? There’s a reason why Facebook and Instagram have the most sought out algorithm powers; there are things it’s feeding us that we don’t even fully realize as outside consumers. That should tell you a lot about the expectations that you’re placing on yourself everyday by scrolling. Back in the ‘50’s when people started getting television sets and companies found ways to get to them in their own homes, there was one ad for one brand of one thing. That’s it. Now, social media is so intelligent, it knows all about niches and subcultures and the things YOU, specifically you, like. It’s a marketing major’s paradise. And you’re caught in the middle.

It’s good to take steps to better yourself. I think everyone is really hooked on this idea to better oneself everyday which is nice. Though the ‘ole whiskey water cooler of the early ‘60’s workplace and four Manhattans for a lunch meeting does have a nice ring to it. I think people spend more time beating themselves up for making choices for themselves that other people are trying to pretend that they don’t wan to make, there’s a lot less bettering and a lot more self-loathing. Which is super unhealthy and sad. Life should be here to enjoy. Now if your weight or your lifestyle choices or your job or your relationship are preventing you from enjoying life to the fullest, make those changes. Don’t sit on social media and get a “great idea” to do something because somebody else did it. For all you know, they’re miserable but it’s already on social media so they can’t take it back now for fear of looking like a failure. Hey guys, the internet isn’t real. It’s just a place celebrities go to wish they never became famous.